Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''

Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma?

Grandpa.

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"

Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"

What is the difference between a boy and a girl?

A boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder.

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

How many old timey gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

We ain't sayin' nuthin', see?

What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it drops out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A pool table.

Yo mama's so polite, she once held the door for a week!

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. The other customers were taken aback and some were very upset at the way the animal was being treated. One of the tellers ran up to the blind man and asked, "Sir, what are you doing!?!"

The man turned toward the teller and said, "Oh, nothing - just looking around."

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?"

The skeleton says, "A beer and a mop."

A man went to see his doctor.

"You need to stop masturbating," the doctor said.

The man asked, "Why?"

The doctor replied, "Because I''m trying to examine you!"

What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn.

The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The old farmer told him he had buried them.

The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"

The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren''t, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."